Saturday, October 31, 2009

What time is it? Uniting time!

Madame's latest post came in light of the RINO candidate dropping out of the Congressional race in New York. She praised Dede Scozzafaba for being "unselfish". It's time to cross the finish line to victory so that Doug Hoffman can get to work for New York and the country, Madame says. And she knows a thing or two about crossing the finish line. She reminded people about the issues before Congress such as health care "reform"and cap and tax. It is time for those moderate Republicans and conservatives to unite behind Mr. Hoffman.

Although it's a little late in the game, Fib Newton and Aw Schucksabee decided to hop on the bandwagon and endorse Hoffman as well. This is what uniting is, even if it is a little bit late. Madame put principles before politics; these gentlemen put politics before principles. In the meantime, Mittens Pomade is trying to remove some splinters that he's received from fence sitting on this issue.

The LOTUS wishes you all a happy Halloween, and I'm hoping for a nice, conservative post-Halloween treat on Tuesday.


Madame's latest Facebook post said Halloween day is going to be a "game changer" when it comes to the health care reform debate, and she urged everyone to tune into the GOP's weekly address. I couldn't tell if she used all caps in her post title because she accidentally hit my caps lock key or if she wanted to really, really emphasize her point. It doesn't really matter. Madame feels strongly about this!

I'm concerned for Anderson Cooper though. The phrase "game changer" can be used as a sports analogy. As we all know, Anderson Cooper doesn't understand sports analogies.

The softy southpaws' health care plans have mimicked board games as well, such as Monopoly, when they were considering proposing jail time for those who did not buy health insurance. Go directly to jail; do not pass go; do not collect $200! The bureaucracy of the softy southpaws plan is quite similar to a game of chute and ladders. Perhaps Congress will actually have ideas that aren't child's play! Hey, a LOTUS can dream; can't she?

She urged all Americans including Congress themselves to listen to John Boehner's address tomorrow. Madame says he is going to offer solutions. The softy southpaws have been whining that Republicans don't have any solutions, but Madame says they do. Am I going to be paying attention? You betcha!

UPDATED: Here is the address by John Boehner that Madame mentioned in her Facebook post:

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Hoffman and the Power of "P"

Since Madame endorsed Doug Hoffman last week, it seems like a lot of people are jumping on the bandwagon. To be fair, others including Fred Thompson, Michele Bachmann, and Dick Armey endorsed Doug Hoffman first, but Madame is clearly driving the bandwagon.

Tim Pawlenty, or as I like to call him the Minnesota Mullet, after claiming ignorance about the race decided to also endorse Hoffman after Madame did. Pawlenty, like his haircut, is just a little behind the times.

Texas Governor, Rick Perry, also decided to endorse Doug Hoffman. Now I don't want to get on his case too much. He and Madame are good friends, and he really appreciates Madame's support. He even said that regarding choices of support, " I think I'd stick with Sarah".

Madame is leading the way of the endorsement power play of Palin, Pawlenty, and Perry-- the power of "P". Hmm, that doesn't sound quite right.

There are a couple of fence sitters that I do feel the need to call out--Mittens Pomade and Aw Shucksabee. You may know them better as Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee. They are choosing to not take a stand. I have to ask, gentlemen, isn't it painful to sit on the fence? Ouch!

Yep, as usual Madame is leading the pack,
out in front of the fence sitters.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Take Me out to the Ballgame: Obama Style

Tonight is the first game of the World Series between the Phillies and the Yankees. I'm not sure who Madame is cheering for, but I'm cheering for the Phillies. I think the designated hitter is for wimps.

I had a conversation with TOTUS tonight, and he told me that the Great Opologizer has his own special version of "Take Me out to the Ballgame" that he sings during the seventh inning stretch when he watches a game. Here are the lyrics:

Take me out to the ballgame.
Write about me Maureen Dowd.
I don't like bitter clinging rednecks.
I don't care if I ever use facts.
For I don't root for the "home team".
If they don't win, there's no shame.
For its 1,2,3 times a day I say Bush is to blame!

Now don't tell Madame that these are the President's lyrics. She won't be too happy. Now, final question: who would you rather have on your team?

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Yet Another Type, Type, Send

Madame's latest post on Facebook came to her while watching some basketball. Then, she began to talk about the gubernatorial races in New Jersey and Virginia. This is where she began to truly speak my language, "[t]here are big political races on the East Coast that are coming down to the wire - the results of which will impact policies and political actions that touch all of us in every state". Down to the wire-- that's something that an electronic device like me can really understand!

She also spoke about her rogueness, how she doesn't always agree with Republican political committees. She talked up the two Republicans running for Governor out East. She didn't even mention their opponents' names--a tactic she used in her endorsement of Doug Hoffman and in her RNC speech last year. Sneaky, very sneaky, Madame!

She closed by reminding us that this isn't just about doing what is right, right now. It is about doing what's right for future generation. She understands the whole Constitution-- that it is securing the blessings of liberty for ourselves and our posterity. This is good. I want America to continue to be great place for my future little LOTUSes!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Happy Halloween!

Halloween is soon approaching! In the past, Madame has dressed as Tiny Fea for Halloween. Oh, did my typographical dyslexia kick in again? I'm not sure what her plans are this year. I can't wait to see what Piper and Trig are dressing up as this year. They were so cute when they dressed up around Halloween at a rally last year!

Hmm, I'd better decide what I'm going to dress up for Halloween soon too!?! I could go for something creative like dressing up as TOTUS! Another option would be to dress up as someone scary like Nancy Pelosi! I don't know about that though; it may scare Trig and Piper too much!

As I was surfing around today, I ran across an interesting poll at US News and World Report. The results are shown below as of about 7:30 P.M. Alaska time.

Who do you think is more likely to hand out the best Halloween candy?

  1. 66.47% Sarah Palin
  2. 1.78% Rudy Giuliani
  3. 10.39% Michelle Obama
  4. 14.54% Hillary Clinton
  5. 6.82% Joe Biden
Madame would definitely hand out better candy than Michelle Obama and Joe Biden; that's for sure. FLOTUS would probably hand out arugula to people visiting the White House. Joe Biden would probably hand out something that may cause foot-in-mouth disease. I wish I could help hand out candy, but I don't have hands! It makes me so sad!

Happy Halloween!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Fib Newton is crying!

I spent some time today on Youtube, and I have some clips to share with you.

Today, Newt Gingrich, or as like to call him Fib Newton, was on Fox and Friends where they asked him about his support for a RINO instead of a conservative in the race for NY's 23rd district Congressional seat.Check it out starting at the 2:00 mark; it includes some satirical closed captioning:

I don't have anything much to say except that I didn't know he would be so whiny about the fact that Madame and some others are supporting a conservative instead of a RINO. However, while I was on Youtube, I did find a song that encapsulates what RINOs and even some non-RINO Republicans think when Madame goes rogue on the Republican party.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Madame 45 the Huntress

It is a well known fact that Madame is a huntress. She can take down a caribou or a moose with the best of them. In fact, Field and Stream Magazine called her a hero. Sadly, I'm not allowed to go with her or the rest of the family when they go hunting. It's too cold, and they don't want me to malfunction.

I must let you know that Madame is also a huntress in the metaphorical sense, too. She not only hunts caribou and moose; she sometimes hunts donkeys and RINOs. One day she just may hunt the gators that infest the sewers and swamplands that infest Washington D.C.. This week, she decided that she was going to do a little RINO hunting when she endorsed conservative candidate Doug Hoffman on Thursday. Madame isn't against Rs, but she really doesn't like it when they act like RINOs. Just like she said on Thursday:
Doug Hoffman stands for the principles that all Republicans should share: smaller government, lower taxes, strong national defense, and a commitment to individual liberty.

Political parties must stand for something. When Republicans were in the wilderness in the late 1970s, Ronald Reagan knew that the doctrine of "blurring the lines" between parties was not an appropriate way to win elections. Unfortunately, the Republican Party today has decided to choose a candidate who more than blurs the lines, and there is no real difference between the Democrat and the Republican in this race. This is why Doug Hoffman is running on the Conservative Party's ticket. (emphasis LOTUS)

Now I don't know if you can make chili out of RINOs or if Madame simply wants to mount the RINO on the wall, but she certainly wants them to act like conservatives. Back in August of 2008, Madame had this to say, " The GOP needs to live the planks of its platform, not just offer lip service. " I don't know if Madame will return to electoral donkey hunting after doing some RINO hunting, but if she does, she certainly knows what to do.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Madame Chooses Principles over Politics

Madame posted a new kind of note on Facebook today. We didn't work on any health care reform or energy independence posts this time. Today, Madame took the time to type a promise--a promise she made when she stepped aside from the Governor's office. Upon announcing that she was resigning the governorship, Madame had this to say:
And there is such a need to BUILD up and FIGHT for our state and our country. I choose to FIGHT for it! And I'll work hard for others who still believe in free enterprise and smaller government; strong national security for our country and support for our troops; energy independence; and for those who will protect freedom and equality and LIFE... I'll work for and campaign for those PROUD to be American, and those who are INSPIRED by our ideals and won't deride them.

I WILL support others who seek to serve, in or out of office, for the RIGHT reasons, and I don't care what party they're in or no party at all. Inside Alaska - or Outside Alaska.

Today, Madame gave her endorsement of Conservative party candidate, Doug Hoffman, who is running for Congress in New York. In her usual style, Madame called it like she sees it. She's about principles, not politics or party. She echoed President Reagan and call for no "blurring of lines" of lines between party lines:

And best of all, Doug Hoffman has not been anointed by any political machine.

Doug Hoffman stands for the principles that all Republicans should share: smaller government, lower taxes, strong national defense, and a commitment to individual liberty.

Unfortunately, the Republican Party today has decided to choose a candidate who more than blurs the lines, and there is no real difference between the Democrat and the Republican in this race.
Is Madame doing some RINO hunting in preparation for some donkey hunting in a few years? Madame is all about putting the smack down on both the softy southpaws and RINOs!

As Time Magazine called her, Madame "is a walking middle finger to the BosNYWash élite". I should know; Madame's fingers walk on me all of the time!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

A JPG Is Worth a Thousand Words: The Sequel

A while back, I decided to do a JPG centered post rather than a text centered post. After all, a JPG is worth a worth a thousand words. As Madame had me help in posting some kick butt Facebook posts at the end of last week and over the weekend, I'm still a bit tired. I decided to mix things up a little bit, and I've posted part 2 of " A JPG is Worth a Thousand Words".

Madame's reading material: Liberty and Tyranny

The Great Opologizer's Reading Material:
The Post American World

President Mom jeans!

Madame actually is a mom,
but no "mom" jeans for her!

The President on a Bike!

Madame on a Bike!

Depiction of Obama's basketball nickname!

Depiction of Madame's Basketball Nickname!

Monday, October 19, 2009

The LOTUS Does Some Fact Checking!

If CNN thinks that they need to fact check a SNL skit, then the LOTUS can certainly fact check a Washington Post article and journalist!

Chris Cillizza has a article up today at the Washington Post about Madame's "Facebook strategy."He talked to Meg "The Enforcer" Stapleton about Madame's strategy, "[f]acebook itself is a true testament to American ingenuity and the entrepreneurial spirit; it will remain one of many great sources through which the governor will communicate directly with Americans". You better believe it! Madame's use of Facebook "saved or created" at least one American job: mine! She did this all without any piece of legislation and without spending one dime of taxpayer money!

The article was overall pretty "balanced". Of course it included an obligatory quote from some anonymous person to knock Madame. Sigh. Cillizza also made a mistake about Twitter in his article, but he's not the first. Cillizza seems to think that Madame and I have re-joined Twitter, but we haven't, at least not yet. He just needs to get his facts straight. Over a year and a half ago, Cillizza interviewed Madame. At one point, he mispronounced her name, and at another point, he said that Alaska wasn't the biggest state. The look on Madame's face at about the 2:30 mark when he did that was priceless! If you watch the whole interview, I don't think Madame was necessarily expecting Senator McAnonymous to tap her for VP, but he did! Oh, what a snowmachine ride it has been ever since!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Happy Alaska Day!

Madame posted a Facebook note this afternoon to wish everyone a Happy Alaska Day! On October 18, 1867, an American flag flew over Alaska for the first time! Madame spoke about all that Alaska contributes to the rest of the US--fish, ore, timber, an oil pipeline, and soon, a natural gas pipeline. You see, two and a half years, Madame did more to bring the natural gas pipeline to fruition in than her predecessors ever did. Aside from all of that, Alaska provides to the rest of the country, it truly has a beauty all its own--more beauty than a whole cache of high resolution wallpapers!

Credit to Seth Adam Smith at C4P

Madame also wished Bristol a happy birthday! How fitting that one of the kids shares their birthday with Alaska!

Photo from Team Sarah (People Magazine June 1st edition)

Time for some rest for me (I hope)! We've had three days in a row of Facebook posts! That one yesterday was a real punch at the Great Opologizer. Madame may have the stamina for it, but I'm pooped! Time for some hibernation mode for me!

Cooking Up Another Facebook Smackdown!

We just posted another Facebook note tonight about health care reform. Madame started off by mentioning the passage of a health care reform bill in the Senate Finance committee. No problem. As an Alaskan, Madame is used to cleaning up a Snow(e)y mess!

Madame talked about how sometimes "good intentions" lead to bad policy outcomes. She called the Great Opologizer out on some of his unfulfilled promises: not negotiating with insurance companies behind closed doors, allowing the public to read bills online, not allowing the unemployment rate to fall below 8% by passing the "stimulus" package, and even the promise of change! Hmm, those topics would make some good campaign ads!

Madame again brought up the need for tort reform, just as we had written about earlier. For good measure, Madame used some of her signature sarcasm to discuss free market solutions to health care, describing them as a "novel idea". Madame had better be careful using the word "novel". The Softy Southpaws are already scared that her memoir is selling so well. Who knows what they'll do if they get confused and think that she is going to write a novel on the free market! The modern version of Atlas Shrugged?

Madame closed by saying, "[n]ow is the time to make your voices heard before it’s too late. If we don’t fight for the market-oriented, patient-centered, and result-driven reform plan that we deserve, we’ll be left with the disastrous unintended consequences of the plans currently being cooked up in Washington."

Cooked up in Washington? Yuck! I'd rather be around Madame cooking up some moose chili! If only I could smell it and taste it!

Photo from Pro-Sarah

Madame closed out this post with a special section for Katie Couric which included a ton of heelnotes. We even did something a little different this time and used tiny urls. Perhaps you could say we went a bit rogue on the heelnotes!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Find carbon-emitting fossil fuels, chronologically challenged person, find carbon-emitting fossil fuels!

Madame has written another great op-ed on energy independence. An excerpt was also posted on Facebook. One of the first things Madame did in this piece was a little bit of math:
Ac­cord­ing to the Energy Information Ad­min­is­tra­tion, our total domestic petroleum consumption last year was 19.5 million barrels per day (bpd). Motor gasoline and diesel fuel accounted for less than 13 million bpd of that. Meanwhile, we produced only 4.95 million bpd of domestic crude. In other words, even if we ran all our vehicles on something else (which won’t happen anytime soon), we would still have to depend on imported oil.
We have a President right now who can't correctly count the number of states and a Vice President who can't count the numbers of letters in the word "jobs", so I'll do the math for them. After all, it is my job to compute. This would mean that America would need to produce 1.55 million bpd in order to satisfy American consumption, even if cars ran on something other than gasoline!

Madame thoroughly discussed how one can be both pro-environment and pro-development, the benefits of using natural gas, renewable energy,the need to build more oil refineries, trade deficits, and job creation!

Madame closed with her one of her signature phrases and a knock at the Great Opologizer's signature phrase:
Alternative sources of energy are part of the answer, but only part. There’s no getting around the fact that we still need to “drill, baby, drill!” And if those in D.C. say otherwise, we need to tell them: “Yes, we can!".
I'm surprised that the softy southpaws haven't gotten upset at Madame for that phrase: "Drill, baby, drill!". They probably think that it isn't politically correct or environmentally conscious enough. They probably think that
"Find carbon-emitting fossil fuels, chronologically challenged person, find carbon-emitting fossil fuels!" sounds better.

It was another good piece!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Boo! "Ghostwriter"!

With Halloween just around the corner, it seems that the media have been all about ghosts when it comes to Madame's book. Well, perhaps, I should say ghostwriters, not ghosts. I'm hoping that Madame's journalism degree will rub off of me a bit as I write this post. I've decided to do a little bit of investigative journalism.

Stories regarding Madame's book tend to use the word "ghostwriter" to describe Madame's book. In fact, this yahoo news story has this to say:
Ghostwriter, collaborator, co-author. These sidekick writers go by many names, but they all serve the same purpose: to get the book finished. A true ghostwriter gets no public credit for the work but in reality there are varying degrees of involvement by these pinch writers.
Well, Madame has been upfront about her use of Lynn Vincent as a collaborator. Therefore, Lynn is a not a ghostwriter, but a collaborator! Being upfront is being transparent! Fancy that, Mr. President!

The Softy Southpaws and the BOM have been all up in arms about how quickly Madame finished her book! Let me fill you in a few things. Woohoo, I get to use bullet points!
  • Madame has kept a journal for quite a while which contributes to the book:
    Palin said she's kept journals throughout much of her life that she will use for the book.

    "My journaling really ramped up when I found out that I was pregnant with Trig and then Track was going off to war and I found out Bristol was pregnant," Palin said. "When we had those episodes in our lives come to the surface, it was very therapeutic for me."

  • Madame works hard and spent quite a bit of time in August working on her book.
    "Sarah's been out of town for almost a month now," Heath told the Spokane Spokesman-Review. "I don't know exactly where she is, but she's writing her book. She e-mails me quite frequently. She asks, 'Oh, what happened on June 13, 1978?' This is material for her book."

    Aww, Mr. Heath gave a shout out to me! :)
  • The publisher of the book and the lawyer who worked out the details of the book stated that this book was truly going to be Madame's words.
    "She's obviously going to be engaged in the whole process of the book," said Burnham, adding that the role of the collaborator would depend on who was chosen.

    "Every word of the book will be her words," Barnett said.

So, for all of the skeptics out there, do a little investigative journalism or just do some "googling" like I did. The answers are there. I'm the LOTUS, so I should know.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Stand Up for Our Nation

Madame is entering into a new endeavor, a group called "Stand Up for Our Nation". Madame is all about standing, except when she is sitting down to write a bestselling book, a Facebook post, or an awesome op-ed. When she ran for governor, "Take a Stand" was her campaign theme.

When she resigned from being Governor, Madame was still taking a stand:

My choice is to take a stand and effect change – not hit our heads against the wall and watch valuable state time and money, millions of your dollars, go down the drain in this new environment. Rather, we know we can effect positive change outside government at this moment in time, on another scale, and actually make a difference for our priorities – and so we will, for Alaskans and for Americans.

Now, Madame continues to take a stand by standing up for our nation and encouraging others to do the same. Unlike the Great Opologizer who would rather apologize for our nation instead of stand up for it. I cannot forget poor VP Hair Plugs. When he asks people to take a stand, he usually ends up with his foot in his mouth.

Oh, how I wish I could stand up for our nation too, but I'm just a laptop. I hope that Madame buys me one of these laptop stands, so that I can stand up for our nation!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Happy Birthday, Margaret Thatcher! --UPDATED!

Today is Margaret Thatcher's birthday! Happy 84th birthday, Prime Minister! Margaret Thatcher was conservatism's first madame! In fact, some people think that Madame 45 and Madame Thatcher are quite alike. I've heard a lot of what Madame 45 has to say, and I've surfed the web to see what Madame Thatcher has said. They truly have a lot of the same principles and ideas.
"I just owe almost everything to my father and it's passionately interesting for me that the things that I learned in a small town, in a very modest home, are just the things that I believe have won the election. " -Margaret Thatcher

My mom and dad both worked at the elementary school in our small town. And among the many things I owe them is one simple lesson: that this is America, and every woman can walk through every door of opportunity."- Sarah Palin

"Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from both sides."- Margaret Thatcher

"The GOP needs to live the planks of its platform, not just offer lip service." -Sarah Palin

Those are just a few examples! So, to the Iron Lady, happy birthday!

Margaret Thatcher in a tank

Sarah Palin in a tank

UPDATE: Oops! I think I may have hit the "post" button a little to quickly. Madame posted her own birthday wish to Margaret Thatcher on Facebook this afternoon:
I would like to extend warm birthday wishes to Margaret Thatcher today. Baroness Thatcher continues to remain a role model to many people, particularly women, around the world. Her career is a collection of "firsts." She was the youngest female Conservative Party member to stand for election in history, she was the first woman to hold the title Leader of the Opposition, and she was the first woman to become Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.

As Prime Minister, she took an active role in defending economic freedom and democratic ideals. Her push to privatize British industry and lower tax rates led to a substantial economic expansion in the United Kingdom. She was just as influential in foreign policy. Along with President Ronald Reagan and Pope John Paul II, Prime Minister Thatcher recognized the evil of Communism and worked tirelessly to erode the power and influence of the Soviet Union.

Her life and career serve as a blueprint for overcoming the odds and challenging the "status quo." She started life as a grocer's daughter from Grantham and rose to become Prime Minister - all by her own merit and hard work. I cherish the accomplishments of Margaret Thatcher and will always count her as one of my role models.

- Sarah Palin

Also, I remember that Madame spoke of Margaret Thatcher in an interview with Sean Hannity on the campaign trail a little over a year ago. Check out the 3:15 point and the next minute or so.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

I Am Poet and Didn't Know it!

Tomorrow, we celebrate Columbus Day. In honor of this, I would like to share a poem. I've dabbled in poetry a bit, but I haven't shared it with anyone. I'm a little nervous, but here goes:

In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

In 2012, the Obama presidency Madame will shelve.

What do you think?

On another note, Senator McAnonymous was on the Complete Nonsense Network today (CNN) and he said, "Look let's let a thousand flowers bloom. Let's come up with a winning combination the next time. … let's all go through the process, rather than condemning anybody's chances". He was probably making some kind of analogy about just waiting and seeing who will run for president in 2012, but why the flower analogy? Don't we have enough RINO pansies in the Republican party? I'm sorry, can I say that? Is that too crude?

However, I really think that the flower analogy by the Senator was just his way of saying that he has a fever. The only prescription for this fever is more LOTUS!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Nobel Prize or Noble Leader

As I came out of hibernation mode today, I began surfing around only to discover that the Great Opologizer had won the Nobel Peace Prize!?!? I checked down in my icon tray to check today's date. Much to my surprise it wasn't April 1st!!!

Come to find out, the nomination due date for this award was only 12 days following the Opologizer's inauguration, I couldn't help but think of another Obama song. This time rather than kids singing to him, he has a song to sing about himself (to the tune of the 12 Days of Christmas): " On the 12th day of my presidency my true love gave to me, the Nobel Prize of Peace".

Of course, when the Great Opologizer received the Softy Southpaw nomination for president in June of 2008, the planet began to heal and the waters receded. Perhaps, that is why he won this award:

Just Wednesday, Madame had written a note about the President and his decisions regarding Afghanistan. My favorite line in this post said, "[n]ow is not the time for cold feet, second thoughts, or indecision -- it is the time to act as commander-in-chief and approve the troops so clearly needed in Afghanistan. "

Apparently, now is the time for rookie presidents to be rewarded for the low temperatures of their feet, multiple considerations, and indecisiveness in war. War, that if strategically lead, would lead to peace.

Oh well, I'd rather take a noble woman as a leader than a Nobel "winner" any day.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

What's Not in the Book

While Madame was away at Track's Stryker Brigade Welcome Home Ceremony, I decided to share some details about the book. Shh, you have to keep this on the down low. Madame still doesn't know that I taught myself how to autotype. I can't share what is actually in the book, but I can share some things that are not in the Madame's book.

Contrary to Tiny Fea's silly skits, Madame did not personally shoot wolves from a helicopter, so there will be no stories in the book about any aerial wolf shooting adventures. Although Tiny Fea and Ashley Juddgemental need to learn about how shooting wolves actually helps the moose and caribou population so that rural Alaskans have food.

Another thing that will not be in the book are any stories about Madame banning any books, because she didn't! Plus, although Madame's pretty awesome, she cannot defy the laws of physics. She is not capable of time traveling in such a way that she could ban a book before it was even written as was alleged about her banning Harry Potter.

Madame will also not describe the view of Russia from her porch because she never said that she could Russia from her house! Are you listening Tiny Fea?!? Yes, you can see Russia from parts of Alaska, as Madame did say, but she never put it in such a context in which that fact was the totality of her foreign policy credentials.

That's all I can share with you. You'll just have to wait until November 17th to read it! Oh, it's going to be good!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The Great Indecider...Maybe or Maybe Not

Former President Bush deemed himself the Decider. In an example of life imitating art, the Great Opologizer may be the Great Indecider, or maybe not. The New York Times had an article today discussing the Obama's art collection. This collection included this piece:


I wonder if the Great Opologizer looks to this piece for answers just like the witch in Snow White looks to the mirror. Painting, Painting on the wall, what is the answer to this fill-in-the-blank political situation? Should I send more troops to Afghanistan? Maybe. Will I be able to close Gitmo by the end of the year?Maybe. I wonder if the President also uses one of these to help him with his decision making:

I don't really understand it. When Madame was governor, she looked to the Alaskan Constitution and the ideals and governing principles of Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher. She actually made some definite decisions. Unlike the Great Opologizer who is hosting an astronomy night while still trying to decide on Afghanistan.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Commandress-in-Chief and the Difference between Digging and Drilling

Whew!!! OK, let me catch my breath! Madame may be a long distance runner, but I'm not a long distance LOTUS. I barely have the endurance for a day like today when we posted two Facebook notes within a few hours of each other. Our first post was on Afghanistan which Madame titled, We Must Win in Afghanistan. Wow! What a novel concept--winning?!? The Great Opologizer has said he didn't care about winning the war:

Right off the bat, Madame made a jab about the length of time that the President has been campaigning, I mean how much time he did campaign. Wait, has he stopped campaigning? I think he may have confused one of the Constitutional roles of the President. Rather than Commander-in-Chief, the President thinks his role is Campaigner-in-Chief. Madame agrees with General McChrystal on the need to increase troops in Afghanistan. She also reminded the Great Opologizer that we need to defeat al Qaeda, support the Afghan people by defeating the Taliban, and help provide stability for Pakistan. In closing, Madame used her trademark sarcasm to cybersmack the President, " [n]ow is not the time for cold feet, second thoughts, or indecision -- it is the time to act as commander-in-chief and approve the troops so clearly needed in Afghanistan". If Madame would let me write these posts, it would sound something like this, "hey sissy boy, make a the right decision about Afghanistan, and send more troops". This is why Madame does not let me write our posts. She reminded me that we are supposed to go rogue, not go rude!

Our second post was about two of Madame's favorite topics: the national debt and energy independence. However, Madame didn't just hit on those topics, she hit on how the national debt, the dollar as international currency, and energy independence are all interrelated. It was a all pretty cerebral stuff, or in my case hard drive stuff. We even got to put in some heelnotes! I love heelnotes! As always, Madame's timing was perfect, as she posted this the same day that a second stimulus was being discussed, which would likely incur even more debt! Madame hates debt! She won't even let me use red fonts because they remind her too much of red ink! While the Softy Southpaws are working on so-called "green energy", Madame reminds the country that we have energy available here if we are willing to drill for it. However, the Great Opologizer only understands drilling in the context of the dentist office, not in the context of oil or natural gas. One of Madame's overarching themes in her Facebook posts is to get rid of the shovels! Don't bury the elderly and the disabled with bureaucratic "death panels" and stop digging the country to a bigger hole of debt. In closing, we got to use an asterisk to highlight ACORN. Woohoo-exposing corruption!

While it was a long day, it was so rewarding to work with the Commandress-in-chief!

Photo found here

Monday, October 5, 2009

Madame vs. the Davids

As I've surfed around the web on my limited free time, I've noticed that there are a lot of Davids out there who have some sort of problem with Madame. First of all, there is David Letterboy, who apparently has admitted some "problems" that he has been having. These kinds of problems would be relegated to the desktop recycle bin as corrupted files, if you catch my drift. So, when Madame said it was best to keep Willow away from David Letterboy, she was right! Palin the Clairvoyant strikes again!

The other to Davids are David Frum and David Brooks. These two Davids claim to be conservatives, but their claims to be conservatives are just about as truthful as if I claimed to be a desktop! One of the Davids, David Brooks, called Madame a "cancer" to the Republican party during the campaign! If that's the case, it appears that this "cancer" is both benign and contagious, because it appears that many Americans are wanting to read about the life of this "cancer"! David Brooks also seems to be more concerned about the crease of the Great Opologizer's pants than he is about anything politically substantive.

The final David is David Frum. This David did not understand Senator McAnonymous's choice of Madame for Vice-President. In fact, he didn't even realize that she was a governor when she was tapped as a vice presidential candidate!

These Davids, they are misnamed! I am no e-vangelist (get it, e-vangelist! OK, bad joke.), but I can't help but think that Madame reminds me of a certain David in the Bible. This David was willing to fight when everyone else was too chicken to do so, sounds a lot like Madame, the fighter! When David did fight, King Saul tried to give David his armor and sword, but that wasn't the strategy that David thought was best. He decide to use his own strategy. You could even say that David went rogue! Hmm, how many people have tried to tell Madame what she needs to do? David chose his own strategy, and he defeated Goliath! For Madame, Goliath may be the GOP establishment right now. She may face multiple Goliaths of the next few years.

Madame's actual name is Biblical: Sarah. In the Bible, that means she laughs. I think this may be true; Madame will have the last laugh!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Madame's Free Market Stimulus Plan

I don't know if Madame intended to help provide a jolt to various sectors of the economy by writing a book, but it appears that she just might do that. I wrote about Madame's book a few times last week, and her book still maintains the top spots on Amazon and Barnes and Noble, even though it isn't being released until November 17th. 1.5 million books will be printed for the first edition. That is a heck of a lot of paper, ink, and other necessary book-binding materials! I suspect that this will provide a needed stimulus to those industries, not to mention the both the brick and mortar and online book industries!

There is another industry that has seen its stocks rise in recent months, likely due to Madame's Facebook postings and the fits that she is giving to the Great Opologizer. Sadly, as an inanimate object, I cannot own stock. If I could though, I would buy stock in Kimberly-Clark, the makers of Depends. In the past six months, the returns for this stock have increased by more than 20%. This makes sense, as Madame has a tendency to make the President get all "wee-weed up" and make him so scared that he "you know whats" his pants.

Credit to this blog

Don't tell Madame, but I'm going rogue myself. I'm planning on preemptively starting on online business as part of my own stimulus plan. I'm going to sell 2012 presidential campaign memorabilia and 2013 inauguration keepsakes. My first item will be a "I went rogue, and all I got was this move to the White House" mouse pad. What do you think?

(H/T to the Sarcasm Sisters at C4P for the Depends humor)

Friday, October 2, 2009

If Debating was an Olympic Sport...

Today, the Great Opologizer jetted over to Copenhagen to try to make the case for Chicago to host the 2016 Olympics. However, the President didn't succeed in bringing the Olympics to his hometown. I guess that's what happens if you go around apologizing for your own country. Our buddy Dan Riehl said that Madame would have been a better advocate for bringing the Olympics back to America: "Next time, perhaps they should consider relying on advocates who truly are proud of America and like her just the way she's been. Yes, Sarah Palin does come to mind just now". Yep, Madame is always proud of America.

I surfed over to scan through the President's speech in Copenhagen. One line in particular stood out to me: "Now, that work is far from over, but it has begun in earnest. And while we do not know what the next few years will bring, there is nothing I would like more than to step just a few blocks from my family's home, with Michelle and our two girls, and welcome the world back into our neighborhood." Hmm, does the President think that he'll already be back in Chicago in the summer of 2016 instead of in the White House? Also, is he saying that he can see the Olympics from his house?

While we are on the topic of the Olympics, do you ever wonder what it would be like if debating was an Olympic sport? We all know Madame is quite the athlete as a former basketball point guard and as a runner, but, as we all saw a year ago today, Madame is quite an extraordinary debater as well. She won the gold medal against Vice President Hair Plugs last year. Here is the highlight reel from that epic, Olympian vice presidential event:

Credit to Politicalzone

The next Olympic year is 2012, the same year as the next Presidential election. I wonder if Madame will participate in a new event, Presidential debating?

Thursday, October 1, 2009

The Pit bull in Lipstick is Now a Cover Girl!

The # 1 Cover (H/T The Palination)

I finally get to share with you all another peek at the bestseller. The cover of Madame's book was officially released today. In fact, we just made the cover Madame's new Facebook picture. Hmm, there's a nice blend of red,white, and blue, and she is wearing a running jacket. I wonder if that means anything.

The book has become a bestseller overnight! People are quite impressed by how many copies it is selling. It is #1 at both Amazon and Barnes and Noble. The success of the book sales are causing the MSM or the BOM to use words like "unbelievable" and "unprecedented" to describe its release. Call me cynical, but in light of the amazing success of the book more than six weeks before its release, I'm surprised the headline isn't "Sarah Palin kills trees for her own profit". To be sure, Madame is quite grateful for the response. I think that Senator McAnonyous is a little bit nervous about the book, though he might just be upset that he didn't think of the phrase "going rogue", instead of being stuck on "maverick".

With the success of the book in just the first week of the announcement of its release, I'm wondering if there will be any subsequent editions. I promised TOTUS I would get him a version that would be teleprompter-friendly so that the President could read it. I wonder if there will be a picture book so that Vice President Hair Plugs can read it, too. I also hope that they release a Cliff's notes version so that the Softy Southpaws can understand when Madame "lays out her vision for an America that is strong, independent, and free". Softy Southpaws seem to think America needs to be weak, dependent, and bound. I think that Anderson Cooper will need his own special Cliff's Notes version for when Madame talks about sports.

I'd like to close this post by wishing you what should be a happy Energy Independence Day. A year ago today, Congress lifted the ban on offshore drilling, but nothing really has been done. I wish that Congress would understand the need for energy independence. I would give my space bar to be energy independent, but I'm dependent upon that darn AC adapter. It is interesting that the President thinks that we are a good enough country to host the Olympics, but not to drill offshore for oil. However, Brazil is good enough in the President's eyes to drill offshore. Hmm, if he thinks that, maybe they can have the Olympics too.