Thursday, October 8, 2009

What's Not in the Book

While Madame was away at Track's Stryker Brigade Welcome Home Ceremony, I decided to share some details about the book. Shh, you have to keep this on the down low. Madame still doesn't know that I taught myself how to autotype. I can't share what is actually in the book, but I can share some things that are not in the Madame's book.

Contrary to Tiny Fea's silly skits, Madame did not personally shoot wolves from a helicopter, so there will be no stories in the book about any aerial wolf shooting adventures. Although Tiny Fea and Ashley Juddgemental need to learn about how shooting wolves actually helps the moose and caribou population so that rural Alaskans have food.

Another thing that will not be in the book are any stories about Madame banning any books, because she didn't! Plus, although Madame's pretty awesome, she cannot defy the laws of physics. She is not capable of time traveling in such a way that she could ban a book before it was even written as was alleged about her banning Harry Potter.

Madame will also not describe the view of Russia from her porch because she never said that she could Russia from her house! Are you listening Tiny Fea?!? Yes, you can see Russia from parts of Alaska, as Madame did say, but she never put it in such a context in which that fact was the totality of her foreign policy credentials.

That's all I can share with you. You'll just have to wait until November 17th to read it! Oh, it's going to be good!

3 comments:

Bill589 said...

Whitney - I love your wit. Sarah is #1. She helps me have hope for our country, and especially the country my children are growing up to live in.
I miss everyone at C4P; I can’t see the comments. I followed the instructions, but nothing works. I e-mailed their tech a couple times; maybe they’ll get back to me.
But I am very glad to see you (read you) here.

Ron Devito said...

Whitney,

Keep up the posts. Awesome. Just a point of clarification. "I can see Russia from my house" was said by Tina Fey in her SNL skit and somehow got attributed to Sarah.

Sarah said what you wrote -- that you can see Russia from parts of AK -- in fact in the winter, you can walk there across the Bering Strait! Margaret Mead, the anthropologist did a treatise on that, and Sarah mentioned it in Hong Kong re: Todd who is part Yup'ik.

thirtynine said...

LOTUS......you are making me so jealous! I can hardly wait for Nov. 17th anyway then here you come making it worse. You are the luckiest laptop in the world!