Sunday, September 20, 2009

Top 10 Things that Liberals Do Not Understand

In addition to the Great Opologizer's media blitz on the Sunday morning circuit, he will be paying a visit to the David Letterman show tomorrow. Is it a stupid human tricks edition of the show? Apparently, he is currently scheduled as the only guest on the show. Usually, on such shows, there is a musical guest. Is President Obama going to sing or play some music? Apparently, according to Chris Wallace of Foxnews, the Opologizer administration is very good at sad, emotional violin music.

I just hope that President Obama doesn't say something utterly offensive and ridiculous like offending special needs children and adults like the last time he was on a late night comedy show. When the President made that comment, it certainly made the mama grizzly come out in Madame! This time the Great Opologizer is going on David Letterman's show. David Letterman is very good at making the mama grizzly come out in Madame.

In case you are wondering,
this
is Madame's "mama grizzly" face


However, I would like to "honor" David Letterman by giving my very own top 10 list. I wish you could see my dramatization of this, but I can't get the webcam to work by myself. The BOTUSes are playing the part of Paul Shaffer. It's good comedy, let me tell you. So with out further adieu, here is the LOTUS's top 10 list.

Top 10 Things that Softy Southpaws Don't Understand


10) The English language. They often have to re-define words or resort to the dictionary.

9) Sarcasm. It is completely lost on them. Sometimes, when I tweet 140 characters of sarcasm, softy southpaws just don't understand, and I receive whiny, pretentious responses back.

8) Sports analogies in political speeches (yes, I'm talking to you, Anderson Cooper).

7) The phrase "death panels". Until Madame used it in a Facebook post, they thought the phrase "death panels" was what PETA used to describe fly swatters.

6) Middle America. If people do not live adjacent to an ocean in the Northeast or California, they are obviously uneducated and unsophisticated, especially if they didn't attend a prestigious, Ivy League school.

5)The Tea Party movement. It's amazing how they can downplay the massiveness of the national debt, but overlook the nearly 1.8 million who descended on DC to voice their concerns about the direction of this country.

4)Free-market principles and limited government interference in the economy. Liberals see Boetcker's 10 Cannots as 10 Cans.

3) The need to vocalize support for the US military. The military fights for us so that we can keep our freedom.

2) The differences between being an intellectual and being intelligent. Many liberals are intellectuals, but lack intelligence--that mixture of common sense, wisdom, and knowledge needed to make good decisions.

1) The predatory behavior of barracudas. A politico article published yesterday had this to say:

For several days in August, the national health care debate turned to focus on so-called “death panels,” in large part because of two widely-publicized Palin Facebook posts accusing Democratic authors of the House proposal of creating bureaucratic entities to decide end of life care.

The post was immediately rebuked by Democrats, and even by some Republicans, as untrue and irresponsible. But rather than immediately firing back at her critics when reporters came calling for a response, or issuing a press release defending her claim, Palin waited five days to post her response on Facebook.

Liberals don't understand the predatory behavior of barracudas is as follows,"...they are voracious predators and hunt using a classic example of lie-in-wait or ambush. "

7 comments:

Jane Austen said...

Thanks Whitney for the comment. I thought about the dialogue angle because you covered LOTUS's side of the story, but I wondered what the convos were like between Madame and LOTUS!
BTW, my fav part was when the both of them were throwing out insults and seeing who was better! :)
-Jane

Meadow said...

Well done, LOTUS!

Keep an eye on that idiot (Letterman, of course!?!) and if necessary, hit print on your keyboard so Madame 45, will find it ready to review and post.

upinak said...

LOTUS my friend.. you forgot one thing. So it might make it 11.

They do not know how to play without breaking any rules.

:) keep up the work, and don't forget to get some "hybernating time" in.

steve said...

Obama on Letterman, I think that will be must NOT see t.v.

bestbud said...

Lotus is on a tear where do you get those batteries?

Letterman and TOTUS where does Obama set?

Rattlesnake said...

So true, especially #9. They have no problem USING sarcasm, but for some reason they can't understand when Conservatives are being sarcastic. Either that or they like to play dumb just so they can throw a hissy fit.

Mia said...

O'blabla and Littleman =2 Pigs in a Poke...