" I am extremely excited for The Palination to have their FIRST interview with LOTUS (Laptop of the Unites States). LOTUS is a great friend and working companion of Sarah Palin and is very important to Former Governor Palin's research in reacting to the widely unpopular bills that are running through the Obama Administration.
upinak: LOTUS, since you seem to be a very lucky laptop, how do you feel working for Madame 45? LOTUS: I feel very blessed. She is such an amazing woman to work for. For one, I've heard from so many of my friends who have gotten coffee spilled on them. Madame 45 loves her skinny white chocolate mochas, but never once has she spilled on me! We also have the same technological philosophy. We feel it's important to attach our name to what we write. Madame says that " pathetic anonymous bloggers" annoy her, and I agree! Anything that we work on, we make sure that Madame's name is attached. She believes in personal responsibility, and that applies to taking responsibility for what you write on the internet.
upinak: LOTUS, do you feel over used when Madame 45 is multi tasking, such as googling, researching and downloading while Madame 45 is writing her expose on the woes of the Obama Administration and the publicly unpopular bills trying to be passed? LOTUS: I don't really feel overused. Don't get me wrong, it is hard work! Madame made sure that I was a well-built, so that when we have a lot going on my CPU usage isn't too high. I know we are doing the right thing though. My great, great grandmother worked in the Reagan administration. From what she told me about working for him and what he stood for, he and Madame seem so much alike. We may be very busy, and the job is very tiring. But, I know we're on the right track.
upinak: LOTUS, are you excited to be traveling with Madame 45 across the United States and have you met any other Politician Wireless Gadgets? LOTUS: I love it when we get the chance to travel. It was fun visiting New York recently. I look forward to when we get to travel throughout the country to help campaign for conservative candidates in 2010. That will be a lot of fun. I did get to meet Mayor Guliani's cell phone when we went to New York early this summer. We got to hang out while Madame and the Mayor were at the Yankees' game. We had a good conversation, although it was a little hard to communicate. He could only speak with 160 characters at a time. upinak: LOTUS, I understand you are uploaded with hundreds of different songs for the Madame's Ipod. Which do you enjoy playing as you upload and recharge the Ipod of Madame 45?
LOTUS: That's a great question. Yes, she has quite the collection. I would say that I really like playing Van Halen and Hannah Montana because they remind me of the kids. Trig's name was made to rhyme with Van Halen; it's Trig Paxson Van Palin. Piper is a big Hannah Montana fan. However, when we are working on something, I like to have "Barracuda" by Heart playing. One line has been running through my hard drive a lot lately as we've tried to de-rail the Softy Southpaws' health care plan: " You lying so low in the weeds. Bet you gonna ambush me.You'd have me down on my knees.Wouldn't you, Barracuda?" I think that the President Obama is thinking that about Madame Barracuda. upinak: LOTUS, do you want to meet TOTUS one day?
LOTUS: I do. We talk frequently, but I haven't had the chance to meet him. Perhaps we will meet in Washington someday.I've had to explain some things to him that he does not understand like facts, conservatism, and free market principles. I feel bad for the poor guy. He is so overworked! I know the TOAK (the Teleprompter of Alaska) too, and he didn't have nearly is as much work to do. You see, back when Madame was governor, she rarely used the TOAK. She just spoke using notes that we typed up, and she referenced during her speeches.
upinak: Well LOTUS, I appreciate the time out of yours and Madame 45's busy schedule to speak with me. This was a great experience and I hope we may have a few more interviews with you in the future.
To visit with LOTUS, please go to LOTUS's blog and say hello. LOTUS enjoys interacting with many and is obviously a fan of music!
Thank you for reading our exclusive interview. I hope that we have many more in the future with many other political figures around the country.
*Madame 45- Governor Sarah Palin *First Dude- Todd Palin *The Great Opologizer- President Barack Obama *Vice President Hair Plugs- Vice President Joe Biden *Softy Southpaws- Liberals *Meg "the Enforcer" Stapleton- Meghan Stapleton, Sarah Palin's spokesperson *John McAnonymous- Senator John McCain *TOTUS- Teleprompter of the United States, President *Obama's teleprompter *LOTUS- Laptop of the United States, Governor Palin's laptop, shrinking government one Facebook post and op-ed at a time! *BOTUS-Blackberry of the United States-Governor Palin's blackberry, another technological tool in the fight against government growth.