What is the Plural Form of TOTUS?

After all the fun from the race yesterday, we posted some pictures from the event. I've posted my favorite below:

As you can see, while Madame is speaking she is flanked by two vintage NASCAR cars, unlike the Great Opologizer who is always flanked by two TOTUSes (or is the plural TOTI?).

Madame had another book signing today and gave another wonderful Chamber of Commerce speech this evening. Whew. Another busy day!

A Valentine for TOTUS

I decided to go with my heart (although I've been told that I don't technically have one) and give a Valentine to TOTUS. I even wrote him a poem, and I went rouge with the font:

Your screen is read.
Your states are blue.
Sugar is sweet.
And so are you!

I fear that my love will remain unrequited though. TOTUS seems married to his work. Sigh.

By the way, I should let you know if you want to send a Valentine from the Softy Southpaws, check this out!

What Are We Doing this weekend?

BOTUS checked out Madame's schedule on her calendar and gave me an update. We're going to be busy. We'll be in Kansas to speak at the Salinas Chamber of Commerce tomorrow.

Then, on Saturday, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto! Saturday is the main event! Madame is speaking at the Tea Party convention. I'll betcha that it'll be it'll be a speech that will make Samuel Adams proud. I wonder if they will serve crumpets there?

You can catch the speech on TV. Take your pick; it'll be on Fox, MSNBC, and C-SPAN. I hope that on MSNBC they have Tingles Matthews, Rachel Madcow, and Olby comment after the speech. It would be awesome to see their heads explode all in real time. I bet C-SPAN is excited that they get to show a speech from the future President, especially since the current President isn't showing the health care meetings on C-SPAN like he promised. It's going to be a great speech! Then, Madame appears on her first Sunday show on Foxnews. I cannot forget that Madame will be campaigning for Governor Perry in Texas on Super Bowl Sunday. Teg Nugent will be there too. Cat Scratch Fever, anyone? I'll keep you all posted on all our fun plans.

I have to tell you all. I talked to TOTUS today, and he is so embarrassed! The Great Opologizer mispronounced "corpsman"; he pronounced it phonetically! TOTUS works so hard, and then his boss blows it. Poor guy!

Where's the energy, TOTUS?

Madame wonders what's the
Great Opologizer's Energy Plan?

Today, Madame posted two notes on Facebook. The first one asked what the Great Opologizer's plan on energy is? She spoke about the President's lack of an good energy policy is "one aspect of the president’s problem". Yep, just one of the President's problems! Madame also linked this article!I know, shocker! The Perky One probably still thinks she doesn't read! Madame also challenged the President to discuss his energy plans in his State of the Union address on Monday. Madame is an instigator, isn't she? If the President responds directly to this invitation, then it shows that Madame is in his head. If he doesn't respond, it may just further solidify Madame's charge that he has no energy plan. Yep, the President's between Barack and a hard place!

The other post was a congrats to the Friendship Circle, a non-profit organization that connects special needs kids with teenage volunteers. Congrats to them on on winning the Chase Community Giving award!

I cannot end today's post without sharing some sympathy for TOTUS. You see, the President used TOTUS to speak to 6th graders last week! TOTUS is so embarrassed that his boss could speak to 6th graders without his help, and this is being displayed proudly on the White House website. Poor TOTUS!

My conversation with TOTUS

I just got done SKYPEing with TOTUS. Although we work for people on complete opposite sides of the political spectrum, TOTUS and I are very good friends. Unfortunately, TOTUS has been very busy, so we haven't had the chance to talk much lately. He and the Great Opologizer (TOTUS calls him Big Guy) have given a lot speeches in his first 9 months in office. TOTUS told me he has gotten pretty tired with all of the work he's been doing, and with the repetition of what the President is saying. He is tired of seeing the words "crisis", "from the brink", "let me be clear" "I" and "me" running across his screen all of time. He told that the Great Opologizer has actually used the words "I" and "me" nearly 1200 times in 41 of his speeches so far this year. TOTUS even told me that he got so bored during one speech that he fell asleep and fell off of his stand!



After exchanging pleasantries and catching up, TOTUS asked me what it was like to work with Madame. I told him it was amazing! I was having so much fun working on her soon-to-be bestselling book, Facebook posts, op-ed pieces, and occasionally helping the kids with their homework. TOTUS then asked me a strange question, "Well, how does Madame type?".

"What do you mean", I said.

"Well, if she is clinging bitterly to her guns and her religion, how does she have the hands and fingers to type?", TOTUS asked.

"Poor,TOTUS", I replied, " You have spent too much around Big Guy, and it has made you confused and misinformed. Madame clings happily to her faith and joyfully expresses her 2nd amendment rights. It's a figurative thing, not a literal thing, TOTUS".

"Oh, I see", TOTUS said.


We didn't have much time left, but I had to ask him what Big Guy thinks about Madame 45. TOTUS told me he was quite afraid of Madame. He thinks she is going to take his job in a few years! In fact, anytime Madame writes a post on Facebook or gives a big speech, he runs to Rahm Emmanuel calling out Elton John lyrics, "Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer". You see TOTUS calls Rahm "Toes", but the Great Opologizer calls him "Tiny Dancer".



Sadly, I didn't get the chance to ask him about the Botosi (that's what I call Nancy Pelosi) or FLOTUS (Michelle Obama) thinks about Madame. Oh well, perhaps next time! I hope Madame keeps TOTUS on staff, and we will get to hang out!

A message from the LOTUS ( the Laptop of the United States)

It has been quite the busy week since returning from New York. Madame 45 (that's what I call Governor Palin) and I have been writing up a storm the past several days. We've spent a lot of time on Microsoft Word because Madame wants to make sure that her footnotes were formatted correctly ( I prefer to call them heelnotes-- Madame has a great shoe collection). But, I haven't just spent time on Microsoft Word. We have spent a lot of time on Google and Pub Med. Madame 45 does such a good job supporting her thoughts on TOTUS's health care plan with these things called facts. Now, I'm good friends with the TOTUS, and he was unfamiliar with "facts". Apparently, they don't come across his screen too often. I was happy to describe this concept to him. I want to make sure that he understands facts. If he happens to be kept on staff during the transition in 2012, he will see a lot of them. But, I digress.

We have also spent hours reading the House's health care bill. I'm glad that Madame 45 is good about the Adobe Reader updates, or I might have a malfunction. That pdf is long! But, I need to get used to the long hours. Madame 45 is writing a book too! I've seen some excerpts, and, doggone it, it is good! I don't want divulge too much information, but let me tell you, it is going to be huge! We may need another "stimulus" package next spring, and Madame's book will definitely provide a big boost to the paper, ink, and bookstore industry!

I've enjoyed spending time on facebook. It seems like every time we surf over to that site, there are more and more people who want to read what Madame 45 has written. I think it has had an effect too! I like to surf over to this site from time-to-time. I'm not really sure if Madame 45 knows that I do it, but maybe she visits sometimes too! I'm not sure!

On a lighter note, I love the Alaskan summers! The sun stays out so long! Sometimes, Madame 45 and I will sit out on the deck overlooking Lake Lucille. Sometimes she lets Trig and I spend some time together. It tickles when he tries to talk to me! I can't believe how big he is getting! He is precious, and it makes me so mad when people demean him! Piper and Willow are headed back to school soon! I will miss them. First Dude 45 is quite a guy too! He tells me about the salmon runs. Oh, I wish I could make a trip to Dillingham sometime, but I only have limited battery power. Plus, I'm hydrophobic. Bristol and Tripp are fun to be around too! I'm very proud of Bristol! I can't wait until Track gets back from Iraq! I'm so thankful for his service.

Ok, I suppose I should get back to work. We may possibly be spending some time on Twitter soon again. Although, Madame 45 often uses the BOTUS (Blackberry of the United States) for that job. Madame's friend Greta said on TV tonight that we may be skypeing soon. We'll see. I don't know if Greta was teasing or serious. I'll have to wait on the word from the boss.