What's Not in the Book

While Madame was away at Track's Stryker Brigade Welcome Home Ceremony, I decided to share some details about the book. Shh, you have to keep this on the down low. Madame still doesn't know that I taught myself how to autotype. I can't share what is actually in the book, but I can share some things that are not in the Madame's book.

Contrary to Tiny Fea's silly skits, Madame did not personally shoot wolves from a helicopter, so there will be no stories in the book about any aerial wolf shooting adventures. Although Tiny Fea and Ashley Juddgemental need to learn about how shooting wolves actually helps the moose and caribou population so that rural Alaskans have food.

Another thing that will not be in the book are any stories about Madame banning any books, because she didn't! Plus, although Madame's pretty awesome, she cannot defy the laws of physics. She is not capable of time traveling in such a way that she could ban a book before it was even written as was alleged about her banning Harry Potter.

Madame will also not describe the view of Russia from her porch because she never said that she could Russia from her house! Are you listening Tiny Fea?!? Yes, you can see Russia from parts of Alaska, as Madame did say, but she never put it in such a context in which that fact was the totality of her foreign policy credentials.

That's all I can share with you. You'll just have to wait until November 17th to read it! Oh, it's going to be good!

The Great Indecider...Maybe or Maybe Not

Former President Bush deemed himself the Decider. In an example of life imitating art, the Great Opologizer may be the Great Indecider, or maybe not. The New York Times had an article today discussing the Obama's art collection. This collection included this piece:

H/T C4P

I wonder if the Great Opologizer looks to this piece for answers just like the witch in Snow White looks to the mirror. Painting, Painting on the wall, what is the answer to this fill-in-the-blank political situation? Should I send more troops to Afghanistan? Maybe. Will I be able to close Gitmo by the end of the year?Maybe. I wonder if the President also uses one of these to help him with his decision making:


I don't really understand it. When Madame was governor, she looked to the Alaskan Constitution and the ideals and governing principles of Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher. She actually made some definite decisions. Unlike the Great Opologizer who is hosting an astronomy night while still trying to decide on Afghanistan.

Commandress-in-Chief and the Difference between Digging and Drilling

Whew!!! OK, let me catch my breath! Madame may be a long distance runner, but I'm not a long distance LOTUS. I barely have the endurance for a day like today when we posted two Facebook notes within a few hours of each other. Our first post was on Afghanistan which Madame titled, We Must Win in Afghanistan. Wow! What a novel concept--winning?!? The Great Opologizer has said he didn't care about winning the war:



Right off the bat, Madame made a jab about the length of time that the President has been campaigning, I mean how much time he did campaign. Wait, has he stopped campaigning? I think he may have confused one of the Constitutional roles of the President. Rather than Commander-in-Chief, the President thinks his role is Campaigner-in-Chief. Madame agrees with General McChrystal on the need to increase troops in Afghanistan. She also reminded the Great Opologizer that we need to defeat al Qaeda, support the Afghan people by defeating the Taliban, and help provide stability for Pakistan. In closing, Madame used her trademark sarcasm to cybersmack the President, " [n]ow is not the time for cold feet, second thoughts, or indecision -- it is the time to act as commander-in-chief and approve the troops so clearly needed in Afghanistan". If Madame would let me write these posts, it would sound something like this, "hey sissy boy, make a the right decision about Afghanistan, and send more troops". This is why Madame does not let me write our posts. She reminded me that we are supposed to go rogue, not go rude!

Our second post was about two of Madame's favorite topics: the national debt and energy independence. However, Madame didn't just hit on those topics, she hit on how the national debt, the dollar as international currency, and energy independence are all interrelated. It was a all pretty cerebral stuff, or in my case hard drive stuff. We even got to put in some heelnotes! I love heelnotes! As always, Madame's timing was perfect, as she posted this the same day that a second stimulus was being discussed, which would likely incur even more debt! Madame hates debt! She won't even let me use red fonts because they remind her too much of red ink! While the Softy Southpaws are working on so-called "green energy", Madame reminds the country that we have energy available here if we are willing to drill for it. However, the Great Opologizer only understands drilling in the context of the dentist office, not in the context of oil or natural gas. One of Madame's overarching themes in her Facebook posts is to get rid of the shovels! Don't bury the elderly and the disabled with bureaucratic "death panels" and stop digging the country to a bigger hole of debt. In closing, we got to use an asterisk to highlight ACORN. Woohoo-exposing corruption!

While it was a long day, it was so rewarding to work with the Commandress-in-chief!

Photo found here

Madame vs. the Davids

As I've surfed around the web on my limited free time, I've noticed that there are a lot of Davids out there who have some sort of problem with Madame. First of all, there is David Letterboy, who apparently has admitted some "problems" that he has been having. These kinds of problems would be relegated to the desktop recycle bin as corrupted files, if you catch my drift. So, when Madame said it was best to keep Willow away from David Letterboy, she was right! Palin the Clairvoyant strikes again!

The other to Davids are David Frum and David Brooks. These two Davids claim to be conservatives, but their claims to be conservatives are just about as truthful as if I claimed to be a desktop! One of the Davids, David Brooks, called Madame a "cancer" to the Republican party during the campaign! If that's the case, it appears that this "cancer" is both benign and contagious, because it appears that many Americans are wanting to read about the life of this "cancer"! David Brooks also seems to be more concerned about the crease of the Great Opologizer's pants than he is about anything politically substantive.

The final David is David Frum. This David did not understand Senator McAnonymous's choice of Madame for Vice-President. In fact, he didn't even realize that she was a governor when she was tapped as a vice presidential candidate!

These Davids, they are misnamed! I am no e-vangelist (get it, e-vangelist! OK, bad joke.), but I can't help but think that Madame reminds me of a certain David in the Bible. This David was willing to fight when everyone else was too chicken to do so, sounds a lot like Madame, the fighter! When David did fight, King Saul tried to give David his armor and sword, but that wasn't the strategy that David thought was best. He decide to use his own strategy. You could even say that David went rogue! Hmm, how many people have tried to tell Madame what she needs to do? David chose his own strategy, and he defeated Goliath! For Madame, Goliath may be the GOP establishment right now. She may face multiple Goliaths of the next few years.

Madame's actual name is Biblical: Sarah. In the Bible, that means she laughs. I think this may be true; Madame will have the last laugh!

Photo from 1,000,000 Strong for
Sarah Palin 2012 Facebook Group

Madame's Free Market Stimulus Plan

I don't know if Madame intended to help provide a jolt to various sectors of the economy by writing a book, but it appears that she just might do that. I wrote about Madame's book a few times last week, and her book still maintains the top spots on Amazon and Barnes and Noble, even though it isn't being released until November 17th. 1.5 million books will be printed for the first edition. That is a heck of a lot of paper, ink, and other necessary book-binding materials! I suspect that this will provide a needed stimulus to those industries, not to mention the both the brick and mortar and online book industries!

There is another industry that has seen its stocks rise in recent months, likely due to Madame's Facebook postings and the fits that she is giving to the Great Opologizer. Sadly, as an inanimate object, I cannot own stock. If I could though, I would buy stock in Kimberly-Clark, the makers of Depends. In the past six months, the returns for this stock have increased by more than 20%. This makes sense, as Madame has a tendency to make the President get all "wee-weed up" and make him so scared that he "you know whats" his pants.

Credit to this blog

Don't tell Madame, but I'm going rogue myself. I'm planning on preemptively starting on online business as part of my own stimulus plan. I'm going to sell 2012 presidential campaign memorabilia and 2013 inauguration keepsakes. My first item will be a "I went rogue, and all I got was this move to the White House" mouse pad. What do you think?

(H/T to the Sarcasm Sisters at C4P for the Depends humor)

If Debating was an Olympic Sport...

Today, the Great Opologizer jetted over to Copenhagen to try to make the case for Chicago to host the 2016 Olympics. However, the President didn't succeed in bringing the Olympics to his hometown. I guess that's what happens if you go around apologizing for your own country. Our buddy Dan Riehl said that Madame would have been a better advocate for bringing the Olympics back to America: "Next time, perhaps they should consider relying on advocates who truly are proud of America and like her just the way she's been. Yes, Sarah Palin does come to mind just now". Yep, Madame is always proud of America.

I surfed over to scan through the President's speech in Copenhagen. One line in particular stood out to me: "Now, that work is far from over, but it has begun in earnest. And while we do not know what the next few years will bring, there is nothing I would like more than to step just a few blocks from my family's home, with Michelle and our two girls, and welcome the world back into our neighborhood." Hmm, does the President think that he'll already be back in Chicago in the summer of 2016 instead of in the White House? Also, is he saying that he can see the Olympics from his house?

While we are on the topic of the Olympics, do you ever wonder what it would be like if debating was an Olympic sport? We all know Madame is quite the athlete as a former basketball point guard and as a runner, but, as we all saw a year ago today, Madame is quite an extraordinary debater as well. She won the gold medal against Vice President Hair Plugs last year. Here is the highlight reel from that epic, Olympian vice presidential event:


Credit to Politicalzone


The next Olympic year is 2012, the same year as the next Presidential election. I wonder if Madame will participate in a new event, Presidential debating?

The Pit bull in Lipstick is Now a Cover Girl!

The # 1 Cover (H/T The Palination)

I finally get to share with you all another peek at the bestseller. The cover of Madame's book was officially released today. In fact, we just made the cover Madame's new Facebook picture. Hmm, there's a nice blend of red,white, and blue, and she is wearing a running jacket. I wonder if that means anything.

The book has become a bestseller overnight! People are quite impressed by how many copies it is selling. It is #1 at both Amazon and Barnes and Noble. The success of the book sales are causing the MSM or the BOM to use words like "unbelievable" and "unprecedented" to describe its release. Call me cynical, but in light of the amazing success of the book more than six weeks before its release, I'm surprised the headline isn't "Sarah Palin kills trees for her own profit". To be sure, Madame is quite grateful for the response. I think that Senator McAnonyous is a little bit nervous about the book, though he might just be upset that he didn't think of the phrase "going rogue", instead of being stuck on "maverick".

With the success of the book in just the first week of the announcement of its release, I'm wondering if there will be any subsequent editions. I promised TOTUS I would get him a version that would be teleprompter-friendly so that the President could read it. I wonder if there will be a picture book so that Vice President Hair Plugs can read it, too. I also hope that they release a Cliff's notes version so that the Softy Southpaws can understand when Madame "lays out her vision for an America that is strong, independent, and free". Softy Southpaws seem to think America needs to be weak, dependent, and bound. I think that Anderson Cooper will need his own special Cliff's Notes version for when Madame talks about sports.

I'd like to close this post by wishing you what should be a happy Energy Independence Day. A year ago today, Congress lifted the ban on offshore drilling, but nothing really has been done. I wish that Congress would understand the need for energy independence. I would give my space bar to be energy independent, but I'm dependent upon that darn AC adapter. It is interesting that the President thinks that we are a good enough country to host the Olympics, but not to drill offshore for oil. However, Brazil is good enough in the President's eyes to drill offshore. Hmm, if he thinks that, maybe they can have the Olympics too.