tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2704358862176350513.post7785293438508926481..comments2023-10-28T10:01:41.766-05:00Comments on The LOTUS (Laptop of the United States): Madame's Political Science LessonWhitney Pitcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13490756857309833446noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2704358862176350513.post-13291435471768870402009-09-18T18:54:35.624-05:002009-09-18T18:54:35.624-05:00(continued)
She scrunched her eyebrows. “Huh? Who...(continued)<br /><br />She scrunched her eyebrows. “Huh? Who’s IM-ing me?”<br />NOBODY IS IM-ING YOU, OWNER.<br />She shook her head. “Wait, what?”<br />YOU ARE MY OWNER. THIS IS YOUR LAPTOP SPEAKING TO YOU.<br />“No, no!” She pinched herself. “This is not real!”<br />IT IS. AND FOR THE RECORD, I AM NOT AN “IT”.<br />She stared at me for about a minute, and then shook her head.<br />“Can you hear me?” she asked timidly.<br />YES. THROUGH MY SPEAKERS.<br />She scrunched her eyebrows again. “Ok, this is really weird.”<br />SORRY- MRS. PALIN.<br />“Huh?”<br />AREN’T YOU SARAH PALIN, THE VICE PRESIDENT CANIDATE FOR THE REPUBLICAN PARTY AND CURRENT GOVERNOR OF ALASKA?<br />She nodded.<br />I THOUGHT SO. I WASN’T SURE SO I LOOKED YOU UP ON WIKIPEDIA, I explained.<br />“Oh.”<br />I’M VERY HUMBLED TO BE YOUR LAPTOP. BUT PLEASE, DON’T CALL ME AN “IT”- THERE ARE GIRL LAPTOPS AND BOY LAPTOPS FYI.<br />“Like who?”<br />TOTUS. THE TELEPROMPTER OF THE UNITED STATES. OBAMA’S FRIEND.<br />“Wow,” she said a little timidly.<br />CAN I CALL YOU MADAME 45? I blurted, out of the blue.<br />“I- I guess so.”<br />THANK YOU MADAME.<br />Madame smiled for the first time. “You’re welcome- LOTUS. I shall call you LOTUS.”<br /><br /><br /><br />Well, what did you think?<br />Did you like?<br />Please let me know! :)<br />-JaneAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2704358862176350513.post-44344932019801574982009-09-18T18:53:06.323-05:002009-09-18T18:53:06.323-05:00(continued)
“Did you really want me to finish tha...(continued)<br /><br />“Did you really want me to finish that bad?<br /> YES.<br />Madame rolled her eyes. “Funny.”<br />I JUST WANT TO EMAIL TOTUS I said.<br />“Go ahead- just make sure it’s VERY CLEAR and hopefully he’ll understand,” teased Madame.<br />LIKE THE TIME YOU DIDN’T UNDERSTAND ME?<br />“Like the time I first met you?” Madame rolled her eyes again (she does that a lot, especially at liberals). “You practically made me think I’m insane, talking to a laptop.<br />I smiled. I REMEMBER THAT WELL.<br /><br /><br />December 16, 2008<br />One month, fourteen days after Election Day<br /><br />As soon as someone opened my lid, it was a match made for heaven (but really, I didn’t know it at the time.)<br />I saw this woman staring at my screen in Best Buy.<br />“It’s perfect,” she said, turning to the man next to her. “This is the one.”<br />First of all, I didn’t have almost any interactions with humans, so I was quite insulted when she called me an “it”. Laptops (and other electronics) have sensitive memories, so I was sure that insult would not be forgotten.<br />I was taken that same day.<br />That night, she was setting me up, getting of rid of all the crap/junk that clogs up my hard drive and makes it hard to breathe.<br />“Oh, Todd, I love it. Thank you so much,” she said as she kissed him.<br />Go get a room, I thought.<br />Plus, she said “it” again.<br /><br />A couple of days later, she booted me up again. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to talk to her, so I didn’t, staying quiet. Suddenly, I think one of her kids cried out so she got up and went outside to see what the matter was.<br />I went ahead and went on the internet, and to my surprise, a picture of my owner it seemed was front-page news! I couldn’t believe it. Was it possible that my owner, the human lady that called me “it” with no respect for electronics, was the vice-president candidate for the Republican Party? <br />I needed proof.<br />Turns out that she was forty-five, had five kids, and lived in Alaska. Whoa, I thought, my owner is, like, famous!<br />I had to speak to her.<br />When she came back, I prepared myself.<br />HI, I said.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2704358862176350513.post-59338878237398110652009-09-18T18:51:31.743-05:002009-09-18T18:51:31.743-05:00Whitney-
Yup, sang the Preamble in 5th grade with ...Whitney-<br />Yup, sang the Preamble in 5th grade with ukulales. :)<br /><br />ok, I'm not sure whether you want to see this, but I made up a story about LOTUS and Madame.<br />If you don't like it, that's fine, but it's the story on how Madame and LOTUS first met.<br /><br />Enjoy (I hope??)<br /><br /><br /><br />Madame 45 was typing away on me, as she usually does. Sometimes it gets tiring, but most of the time it was thrilling, as usually I ask the question- “What are we going to write about next?”<br />Always something good.<br />Until today, whereas I became confused.<br />WAIT- WHAT? I asked, my words flashing across my screen (she knows then I’m talking to her).<br />“It’s Constitution Day LOTUS- I thought you knew that,” Madame 45 said.<br />CONSTITUTION DAY?<br />“Did you even look at the date?”<br />MY DATABASE DIDN’T NOTICE ANYTHING ABOUT THE 17TH OF SEPTEMBER.<br />Madame 45 sighed. “Were you even awake this morning?”<br />NO. I DIDN’T HAVE MY JAVASCRIPT YOU KNOW. <br />Madame 45 set her jaw in a firm line. “I rest my case.”<br />WHAT IS CONSTITUTION DAY? I asked.<br />“It’s the day that our founders signed the framework for our country. It’s a very important document that spells out what the three branches are and what they do.”<br />AH. SO, IT’S LIKE, WELL, REALLY IMPORTANT.<br />Madame 45 nodded. “Very.” She started typing again.<br />Again, I interrupted her.<br />BUT WAIT- ISN’T THERE PARADES OR SOMETHING?<br />“It’s not exactly the Fourth.” She took off her glasses, fogged them up, and rubbed the lenses on her t-shirt. “So there aren’t parades or fireworks or anything.”<br />ISN’T IT MORE IMPORTANT THOUGH?<br />“Well, more or less. In my opinion it’s better, because the framework is actually laid out for our country. We start building the rules that day.”<br />SO IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT.<br />Madame 45 smiled. “In my opinion, it is.”<br />I thought about the info she just told me and scanned it into my hard drive. I PROBABLY SHOULD TELL TOTUS I said thoughtfully.<br />“You can- after I finish typing this and putting it out on Facebook.”<br />BUT I WANT TO DO IT NOW! I cried.<br />“LOTUS…” Madame 45 said warningly.<br />I gulped. SORRY MADAME.<br />She smiled and kept typing.<br />A couple minutes later, with shifting of positions on the couch, she clicked “Post”.<br />THANK GOODNESS.<br /><br />(continued)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2704358862176350513.post-69554557565451221772009-09-18T15:48:00.665-05:002009-09-18T15:48:00.665-05:00Lotus,
I love your comparison of second amendmen...Lotus, <br /><br />I love your comparison of second amendment rights SP vs. MO. <br /><br />You are correct; very different interpretation by these two people. <br /><br />Keep up the good work!Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05365689842033719190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2704358862176350513.post-15092177458568705762009-09-18T12:18:30.544-05:002009-09-18T12:18:30.544-05:00Whitney,
Another great post. I'm sure Sarah ...Whitney,<br /><br />Another great post. I'm sure Sarah reads your efforts and loves them as all who love her do. <br /><br />Do you think you could send a copy of the video to the WH and Congress. <br /><br />Also send Michelle your photos complete with captions. I have no respect for this USA hater.kjanladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03981648596422493060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2704358862176350513.post-43308507284244923422009-09-18T08:46:39.012-05:002009-09-18T08:46:39.012-05:00Great stuff, LOTUS. TOTUS can't possibly compe...Great stuff, LOTUS. TOTUS can't possibly compete. Thanks!hrhhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14596988242528734544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2704358862176350513.post-24296937632113238162009-09-18T01:02:32.781-05:002009-09-18T01:02:32.781-05:00Dear LOTUS,
My desktop computer, Johnny, has been...Dear LOTUS,<br /><br />My desktop computer, Johnny, has been depressed all day. He has crashed 3 times and I am going nuts.<br /><br />You see the problem is that he has a close friend on the internet from Poland named Minka, a desktop computer. When Minka found out about our President bailing out on her country's missle defense, she really let poor Johnny have it. She said she never wants to talk to him again and that his country betrayed her.<br /><br />I know you and Madame have so much work and so little time, but please if you find even a minute, can you send out an encouraging post to Facebook, even a short one to let Minka and the other Poles know that she, Madame, has not forgotten them?<br /><br />It would make all the difference.<br /><br />Sincerely your biggest fan in Ohio<br />(based on SarahPAC donations),<br /><br /><br />SapwolfSapwolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10031911033693460966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2704358862176350513.post-39813366326200562732009-09-17T23:09:39.162-05:002009-09-17T23:09:39.162-05:00What a wonderful comparison for our 2nd Amendment!...What a wonderful comparison for our 2nd Amendment! LOTUS, you are one lucky laptop!thirtyninehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868204590374170785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2704358862176350513.post-29556780380737585872009-09-17T23:05:07.304-05:002009-09-17T23:05:07.304-05:00WHITNEY
It's late but Im thankful I checked m...WHITNEY<br /><br />It's late but Im thankful I checked my computer... I don't know how you guys do It but am sure happy you do the things you do.<br />Pointed, Factual, Knowledgeable, Inspiring... yet .. Entertaining and Funny. <br /><br />What can be said?.... top of the night to you!bestbudhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00445837574155498905noreply@blogger.com